Breakaway Read online

  As Sydney fell asleep in his arms, Dean stared up at the ceiling. The weather forecast predicted the snowstorm was going to clear up overnight. All flights would be on time and Sydney would go back to San Francisco while he returned to Los Angeles. With her career in retail, there was no telling when she would be available to see him again. He didn’t expect her to give up her career just to be with him since they barely were a couple, if he could call them that.

  He was already dreading the morning.

  Ten

  “Are you even here right now?”

  Sydney eyeballed her coworker’s question and calmly sipped a too-hot cup of cappuccino. “Sorta.”

  “Was the wedding that bad?” Sarah asked. She was a slender brunette with a penchant of bright makeup and too-tight clothing. “It couldn’t have been that horrible!”

  “It was actually a pretty nice wedding.” Sydney nodded.

  “I bet being stuck in Chicago really sucked, though!” Sarah commented. “At least you were able to get a nice hotel room!”

  A flurry of images ran across Sydney’s mind. Bumping into him. Making snowballs with him. Canoodling with him. Looking into his eyes as she climbed on top of him. She shook her head to relieve the thoughts. “Yeah, I was.”

  “Well, at least you’re back in California! I bet Chicago must’ve been horrible with that weather!”

  It had been one very long-ass week.

  The morning after wasn’t so bad. Despite making love all night the night before, they had one more tryst before showering and breakfast. They rode to the airport together and were lucky they were in the same gate area where they waited with each other. It was her plane that was the first to leave and when it was time to board, Sydney and Dean held each other for a long time.

  She tried to hold back the tears from falling but it was no use. They freely fell as she listened to him whisper to her. “I know it hurts,” he petted her hair, “but it’s only temporary. I’ll be back for you.”

  “You’re not just saying that, are you?” She asked between sniffles.

  Dean pulled back and thumbed away Sydney’s tears. “Why would I lie to the woman I want to be with?”

  The memory slowly faded to the background and Sydney found her eyes tearing up. Dean called her later that night to make sure she’d arrived safely and they’ve texted on a daily basis since then, with a few phone calls in between. It still didn’t replace the warmth she’d missed of feeling his body pressed against hers.

  In short, long distance relationships sucked ass. “It wasn’t that bad.” Sydney smiled.

  “I’m glad you’re back. We’ve been so swamped lately with everything. It seems everyone is shopping this year, which is great for us!” Sarah smiled. “Do you have any plans for the holidays?”

  “I’m going to fly you down for a Kings game. Tell your boss to fuck off, you’re going to see your man play hockey.” Sydney recalled Dean’s declaration to her. It was the first time he actually said he was her boyfriend in not so many words. She didn’t want to read too much into it because of the distance, though she secretly began to practice saying Sydney Winchester. She loved how it sounded, despite how she felt like a teenage girl who just discovered she liked boys.

  “No plans yet,” Sydney shook her head. “Well, I mean…I might go to L.A. and see a friend.”

  “A friend or …” Sarah rubbed shoulders with Sydney. “ …A friend?”

  “A friend,” Sydney repeated, though she knew that wasn’t the truth. She liked Sarah and trusted her but some of the other coworkers would sell her out to the highest bidder. “I just need to figure out when.”

  “Well, we should be slow around Christmas Eve and of course, everyone is closed on Christmas. Will two days be enough?”

  Sydney had a feeling time with Dean would never be enough with him. More time to hold him. More time to laugh with him. More time to make love to him. “I’ll see.”

  Sarah dropped her cheerful act for a short moment and became serious. “What’s really going on, Syd? You seem kinda out of it since you came back. Are you sure everything is okay?”

  “I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up.” Sydney finally revealed. “I don’t think I’m cut out for retail for the rest of my life.”

  “Well,” Sarah leaned on the counter, “what do you want to do?”

  Become a hockey wife? “I’m not sure,” she replied, “I just don’t think I’m going to be here much longer. But I need a game plan.”

  “What are you passionate about? What gets you going?”

  “That’s the thing! I don’t know. Everyone knows what he or she is passionate about and I don’t. I guess I’m just boring that way.”

  “That’s not true! Everyone has a passion about something. You just need to figure yours out.” Sarah insisted before she left. “You’ll figure it out!”

  Sydney finished her cappuccino. Sarah was right. Dean was passionate about hockey. Sarah was passionate about sales. And then there was Sydney was who was passionate about…what? Couponing? Gossip message boards? Trashy reality shows? So many superficial things and none of which made her get out of bed on a daily basis.

  She threw away her cup when she received a text from Dean. How’s my girl doing? Sydney quickly replied back and smiled. It seemed no matter whatever mood she was in, Dean always cheered her up. He had a sneaky way of doing that.

  ****

  I’m trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up.

  Dean smiled at Sydney’s reply and texted her back. Have you figured it out?

  Not yet. Still working on it.

  Come to L.A. and I’ll help you figure it out.

  I bet you will.

  What? What’s that supposed to mean? I’ll be a good little choirboy and I won’t touch you at all.

  And you know that’s the problem, right?

  You can spank me if I misbehave.

  Boy, don’t you threaten me with a good time…

  “All right, man,” Dean’s teammate, Zach Clayton, nudged him. He was a tall bearded man, with not a single ounce of body fat on him. He was easily recognizable with his half-blond/half-dark hair, which led to Dean nicknaming him, Two-Tone. “Put that damn phone away! You’ve been staring at it for most of the night, anyway.”

  “I had to take care some important business, man.” Dean shoved his phone in his jacket. “Now that it’s done, I’m here.”

  “Is she pregnant?” Another teammate, Caleb Swagger, chimed in. A mammoth at over six feet tall and built like a linebacker, Caleb had the charm and suave of a thousand men; hence his last name.

  “What? No!” Dean replied, though he did wonder what a baby comprised of him and Sydney looked like. He hoped to heaven the baby would have the mother’s looks and definitely her teeth. “Can we talk about something else?”

  “Sure, we can talk about something else,” Kyle Blake took a swig of beer. Menacing with two full sleeves and eyes that dared his opponents to try him, Kyle quickly got the nickname ‘Vicious’ for his ruthless hockey play. “Let’s talk about how Dean is a pussy-whipped bitch.”

  “Pussy-whipped?” Dean’s reputation for being a lothario often preceded him. “I’m pussy-whipped?”

  “Meow.” Zach added.

  Dean went around the table and pointed to his friends. “Married, girlfriend, and you…you….” He pointed towards Kyle.

  “Me? What about me?”

  “You’re entertaining the biggest thot of the year,” Dean said to laughter around the table, “and I’m pussy-whipped?”

  “Staring at your phone….the moment you hear from her, your face lights up…” Kyle shrugged and took a swig of beer. “…I know the lovey-dovey signs.”

  “Next thing you’re going to be sending her flowers.” Caleb added

  “And not them cheap shits, neither.” Zach shook his head and his teammates agreed. “You better be chipping in some money for a few dozen.”

  “Meeting the parents?” Caleb added.
“Yeah, that’s always fun.”

  “Buy liquor and cigars for the dad and roses for the mom.” Kyle advised. “That’s too easy.”

  “And you better remember every single birthday, holiday, and first moments or you will never hear the end of it.” Zach stated.

  “That’s why I’m single.” Kyle commented.

  “Does your girl know this?” Zach asked and Kyle shrugged.

  “So when are you going to bring her around?” Caleb asked. “Seems like you like her.”

  “Well after the three of you scared the hell out of me, I don’t know if that shit’s gonna happen,” Dean chuckled. “But in all seriousness, I don’t know. We’re still trying to coordinate something and I just don’t know the what, when, and why of it.”

  “I hope she’s special,” Zach replied. “I haven’t seen you like this in a minute.”

  Dean sipped his beer. He was acting like a lovesick schoolboy, though he kept his focus on the ice when he was at practice and during game time. But after each practice and every game, his second phone call was to Sydney. His first was always to his mother, just to make sure he could still talk with all of his teeth.

  He told Sydney he was going to fly her down during Christmas so she could watch him play in person. Christmas wasn’t that far away and Dean was becoming increasingly anxious about her arrival, despite not having any plans set in stone.

  Now he knew why he never fell in love; he truly hated not having any control of his emotions.

  Eleven

  She felt like throwing up.

  Her stomach was in knots and kept getting increasingly tighter with each passing moment, as if someone was squeezing the life out of her by some messed-up torture experiment they do to POWs at war camps. Every breath she took, hoping to calm the rapid beat of her heart down, only made it worse.

  Sydney was about to see her man. And she was going to break up with him.

  It had been almost a month and a long one. Video chatting, text messaging, and several creative Skype-sex sessions could only do so much before the feelings of jealousy and angst reared their ugly heads.

  Now there she was, walking down the seemingly long corridor from the plane to boarding area. Her nausea simply increased with each step.

  The plane ride from San Francisco to Los Angeles was short and relatively uneventful. She could only get a small handful of days off and rather be the good daughter who spent every holiday with her family, while they politely (was it really?) remarked why she was still the single one of out her friends, she took Dean on his offer and flew down to L.A. He wanted to fly her first class but she wouldn’t have it, shocking them both at the request. He did, however, buy her a business class ticket and well, it was too late to argue.

  In less than five minutes, she was going to see him.

  She swallowed the big lump in her throat and let out another deep breath as she breezily walked through the airport and to baggage claim. Sydney knew how important the trip was on many levels. One, it was testing the waters of how realistic they were being on a long-distance relationship. Two, it was seeing if what happened in Chicago actually stayed there or if they both were just in denial.

  Most importantly, Sydney was scoping out her future in L.A. That is, if there was one.

  She wasn’t about to start picking out china patterns and going to the home improvement store to swipe color swatches for her potential bridesmaids dresses quite yet. She had visited L.A. before but only in passing, with her girlfriends in tow, and mainly to see the infamous Sunset Strip and the wild cast of characters that occupy the City of Angels.

  She was now Dean’s guest to his home.

  She suggested a hotel and Dean shot that idea down before she had a chance to lie out her case. He mentioned he lived in a beach town, along with several others of his teammates, and she was going to stay there to get to know the city. You’ll like it, she recalled his words to her, I wouldn’t want you to stay here if there was going to be a problem.

  Sydney briefly closed her eyes as the memory reverberated through her body, filling her with warmth and security. It was okay. It was going to be okay. They were going to have some fun. He was going to show her around his favorite spots. They were going to make love like it was about to go out of style. Finally, they were going to have a heartfelt, serious talk about their future plans with themselves and each other.

  And maybe, just maybe, she was going to tell him that a long-distance relationship was not in the cards and they needed to go their separate ways and that they should…

  “You look so sexy while you’re in deep thought.”

  Sydney opened her eyes and saw a smiling Dean, holding one of the biggest teddy bears she’d seen in her life. “My friend here and I were just chatting about this really beautiful girl who was walking and all of a sudden closed her eyes. I thought you had an undiagnosed case of narcolepsy but my friend here said, ‘Nah, nah, bro…she’s thinking of something. Give her a few moments.’ So I listened.” Dean walked closer to Sydney and cupped her face with a hand. “But then I got impatient.”

  Sydney smiled before he planted a long kiss on her, crushing his lips against hers and sweeping his tongue inside. He pulled her body close to her and grabbed her ass, claiming her as she moaned in his mouth.

  Heaven.

  Her heart fluttered with desire while the tingling sensation between her thighs thumped with want. When he finally pulled away, his eyes twinkled at hers, knowing what he just did and what they were going to do soon.

  He simply smiled. “How was your flight, baby?”

  She really wanted to tell him that she was too caught in thinking about their future and how the fantasy of 2.5 kids and a white picket fence was slowly fading away. She wanted to tell him that they both weren’t being realistic about their relationship and that Christmas would be the last time they should see each other.

  She wanted to tell him that despite the wild and passionate sex, the heart fluttering whenever she received a text from him, and the longing to be with him and be a dynamic duo that defied the odds, reality told her that they just wouldn’t work. She didn’t want to move to L.A. and just be a hockey girlfriend who will eventually become a wife but she didn’t know what she wanted.

  She was going to tell him all of that and she’d rehearsed it over and over during the plane ride. Then when Sydney saw Dean, the plan went to hell. All she wanted and craved was his touch, his love, and his embrace. She wanted to feel him on top of her, beneath her, and behind her. She couldn’t wait for him to mount her as she spread wide to accommodate him and his size. She really looked forward to the aftermath, when he just held her and their hearts beat as one.

  On second thought, breaking up with Dean could wait. “It was a good flight,” she smiled.

  “Mmm…I know that smile,” he purred in her ear, “that smile means you’re not being completely honest with me. Do you want to tell me what’s really on your mind?”

  Sydney grinned. She hated how well he could read her. It was like if he had a past life being a psychic and was reborn as maniac hockey player. Come to think of it, maybe the two weren’t so far connected. “I miss you.”

  “I miss you, too.” They walked over to baggage claim and he picked up her luggage. Just as he expected, Sydney definitely over packed. “So how many days are you staying again?”

  Sydney playfully socked him in his arm. “Just three.” She convinced her manager to give her an extra day as long as she worked every weekend in January in return.

  “Hmm…we gotta change that.”

  “Oh?” Sydney felt embarrassed. “Did I overdo it for three days?”

  “Yeah, you did.” He answered. “I don’t want you here for three days.”

  “Oh.” Sydney looked down at her feet. She guessed at that point, she didn’t need the talk with Dean after all. He told her everything she wanted to know within the first few minutes of her trip. It was going to be a long and painfully drawn out visit. Oh well. She knew th
e truth and that was that. “I see.”

  “You should’ve packed like you’re going to permanently stay here.”

  Sydney went from feeling like the lowest of the low to being confused about what everything. It was like if someone took her emotions, stuffed them in a tumbler, and jumbled them all up and handed them back to her as if nothing ever happened. “You have a wicked way of playing with a girl’s emotions.”

  The two walked hand-in-hand to the parking lot. “Well, I have to keep you on your toes somehow.”

  ****

  Manhattan Beach was everything Dean promised it was going to be. Sunny, clean, friendly. Swaying palm trees to the slight breeze and the crisp scent of the ocean air. It was deathly quiet, which shocked Sydney. No frat parties. No paparazzi. The homes looked similar but not Stepford Wife-ish. Dean explained to her that most of the team were married and had families and that they were more of a community, than just teammates.

  Sydney didn’t know if Dean was selling her a fantasy or just merely explaining his quality of life. Either way, she brought it completely.

  Dean’s home was very impressive. It had five bedrooms, three bathrooms, and a two-car garage. The living room boasted of high-vaulted ceilings that led to an open kitchen with a corner-wet bar. Dean’s bedroom was located on the second floor and had a private balcony with French doors that opened out to a beach view. The master bathroom, Sydney correctly assumed, was bigger than her apartment. In fact, it was twice as big.

  “You have a very nice home, Dean.” She looked around his bedroom. “I’m impressed.”

  “I would take credit for decorating but I really don’t care about any of that. My mother couldn’t stand coming over and saw nothing but white walls and bare floors so I just told her whatever she thought looked good, I’ll just write a check.” Dean looked around his bedroom as he sat on his California King size bed. His bedroom also boasted of high vaulted ceilings and had a fireplace. A large flat TV hung on the wall across from the bed. “She did pretty good.”

  “I’ll say.” Sydney casually folded her arms. “She did very well.”